Entries Tagged 'Retarded Misc' ↓

Flaming Squirrel Blows Up Car in NJ

And they say nothing cool ever happens in New Jersey…
(from NJ.com)

Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne
by N. Clark Judd
Thursday October 18, 2007, 7:29 PM

It’s Rocky the Frying Squirrel!

A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman’s car yesterday, police said today.

Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey’s car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.

Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.

“The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was,” Tony Millar said. “The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.
“They’re always coming around here, chewing through the garbage,” he added.

Tony Millar says his sister was fully insured.

“It’s something to laugh about once she has a new car,” he said. “It’s not funny yet.”
Police said there were no injuries — except for the squirrel, that is, which is dead.

The Millars’ home is decorated for Halloween, complete with a tiny plastic tombstone on their front lawn. Tony Millar said the family will consider dedicating the tombstone to the squirrel, who was not named.

If only this other squirrel was there (har, har):

Wife Stops Husband from Stealing her Identity

Mrs. Hoden’s suspicions arose after reading an article about identity theft in a recent Readers Digest magazine. “After reading that article it became apparent that my entire relationship with my husband was just one big phishing scam. That’s with a ‘ph’ not an ‘f’. Like when we first met at the bar over on Woodward, he asked me for my name. Then he continued asking me about where I worked and where I went to school. Eventually he managed to get my phone number from me. After we started dating he really wanted to meet my parents. Who wants to hang out with someone else’s parents on Thanksgiving? God it’s so obvious now, he was just trying to rip me off.”

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/12/wife-husband-identity-theft.html

AIM Away Message of the Day

“if you can’t beat em’, they aren’t tied down properly”